Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
