If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
