Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
i've created a new STD.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
