When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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