I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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