P.S. I can't hear my feet
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize