butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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