he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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