I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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