i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
