So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I lost the right to judge tonight
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
