Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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