can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize