Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
