when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
