We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
