help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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