Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
