that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
