please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
