her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
