just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
