haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
