I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Randomize
