He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
