I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
