I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
