Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I think a kid would responsible me up
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
