There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
