my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
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