dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
