then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
