5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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