is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
