He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
