It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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