someone threw a dead crab at me
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
