i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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