I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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