brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
The best revenge is premature balding
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize