Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
