"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
