Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
