What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
