This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
