Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
