you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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