I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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