Someone shit on the floor
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
