i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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