he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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