could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize