I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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