I only kidnapped one of them. chill
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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