positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
