just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
