The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
