you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Randomize