i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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