I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Mom said you looked used
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize