Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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