C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
