Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
