Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
