how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
My breasts were aching with rage.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
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