I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
