no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
