I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize